Ah, finally, Thursday! The beginning of the weekend, or at least for some of us. Jump starting the weekend with quenching your thirst is a great way to end a stressful week. And with my week having been filled with exams and hours in the library? You bet your ass I'll be throwing back some shots of tequila tonight as soon as I get out of an exam.Good liquor and good friends makes for some great stress therapy.
Today's discussion, dear readers, is about the men in blue. Or gray. Usually I'm too fucked up to really focus on what the fuck they're wearing. Yes, I'm am referring to the OtterRent-a-Cops, or really, the Otterbein Police Department. The question, friend or foe? To me and my friends, it's foe. Mostly...yeah, no, just foe.
The OPD and I go way back to my freshman year. My roommate, by the end of the year, had decided I led a sinful life filled with booze, sex, and drugs. What could I say? Too much money and too much time on my hands led to some good times. Long story short, the OPD, or "security" at the time, had flipped my room upside down searching for paraphernalia and alcohol. Which, of course, they found. I think my mom quite literally shit a brick when I told her I had to go to "therapy" for being what Otterbein standards considered "being an alcoholic."
Fast forward months and years later and many encounters, the night officers of the OPD and I know each other on a first name basis. This became a true revelation when, one night at Jimmy V's, two OtterCops walked in and we greeted each other with hugs and laughter when I offered to buy them a drink. When they left, I turned to my friend whose face was covered with shock and dismay. I shrugged and continued to throw back a Ray J shot. My relationship with the OPD is not shared by many. You know the saying, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. My opinion of the OPD overall though, is that they are fucks.
Since they have become an official police department, their ego has skyrocketed. I blame it on the training they did with the Westerville cops, who we all know, have no souls and apparently grew up in a convent or monastery or whatever the fuck else kept them in hidden from the dark of this world. That's the only explanation I have for why they thoroughly enjoy busting parties and harassing students who happen to be walking around past whatever fucking curfew they have set in their minds.
My anger towards the OPD and the WPD grew when I discovered a wicked little truth. An old friend of mine worked in the cigar shop, and had become close to the police chief of the WPD. One drunken night, the chief told my friend of Kathy Krendl's desire to enforce a Zero Tolerance policy against Otterbein students and how she had approached the police to aid with her iron fist.
In my eyes, that was the final straw. Between Krendlkins obvious distaste for Greek life and nature (referring to her asking to cut down all the trees on campus including the beloved tree in front of Towers), learning of her desire for a Zero Tolerance policy made me want to punch some infants.
While the OPD must do their jobs, do they really need to patrol campus like a police state? When will the cameras come? Circling known "party" houses, when clearly no one is home, makes no sense to me. Following students as they walk out of fraternity and sorority houses, totally unnecessary. Interrogating Greek life members for ridiculous hazing allegations? Honestly, they can go fuck themselves.
The other night, I saw a student walk by wearing a Student Security neon shirt. Really? Seriously? I'm at a loss for words. If they start a true student security organization, I couldn't be able to take them seriously.
I can just imagine, me walking home drunk, being stopped by a student security "officer" and just reply to them with a "What, would you like a fucking hall pass?" Yeah, enough said.
Well that's my rant against the OPD and Kathy Krendl. You can bet I'll be writing more on those topics, but right now I have to get ready for class, and run to the liquor store.
PS. If you ever run into Andy and Andrew, the night OtterCops, they've been pretty decent to me and some of my friends. They kind of remind me of Dumb and Dumber, but at least they don't have the Texas-sized egos of some of the others.
xoxo TO
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