" Anyone
who’s been around Otterbein longer than a week has probably experienced
some sort of run-in with the OPD. Any given weekday, you’ll probably see
at least five police cars patrolling the campus, giving out parking
tickets to any poor sucker who thought they could get away with parking
in a spot they don’t have a parking pass for any longer than five
minutes.
However, as much as some might like to pretend that the
troopers are only ‘fake’ police, anyone who has woken up with a hangover
and a court date at the Westerville Mayors Court will beg to differ.
Our OtterCops are completely capable of handing out not only pesky
parking tickets, but also anything from an intoxicated minor, minor in
possession, drug abuse and/or drug paraphernalia charges. Your best bet
is to avoid getting caught at all costs, but everyone’s luck runs out
eventually. Your first court date is certainly one hell of a shock and
scare and telling the 'rents is definitely no fun as well. But look on
the bright side, you’re in for an experience that, yes, you will laugh
about over (strong) drinks one day.
Now, don’t get me wrong,
going to court isn’t fun in the slightest. Write the date on the
calendar, send your professor some bullshit e-mail about why you’re
missing your morning class, and set at least three alarms so you can be
up and looking good in court before 9am (or end up like the blog writer and miss your court date on accident, then wake up the next morning to an arrest warrant). Next, stand in line with your paper work and wait to be
processed so you can sit and wait to talk to the judge. Prepare for rude
and nasty comments meant specifically to make you feel like some sort
of felon who really ought to be behind bars for being caught doing
whatever you were doing. One friend had the lovely experience of being told, as an childhood education major, that he felt bad for the future of our children should she be there teacher). But this isn’t the part of Westerville Mayor’s
Court that most entertains me. While you’re waiting to speak to the
judge, take a minute to look around you. Chances are, you’re there with a
handful of buddies who got caught in the act with you. Pay attention
however, there’s likely about four or five other pOtterbein-ians hating
their lives there with you! During my first court trip, I met at least
four other Otterbein students, two of which are now friends of mine.
It’s always fun to laugh and say “remember how the first time we ever
hung out was in court?’ What a great bonding experience! Even if you
don’t become best friends with whoever’s there, then at least you can
stare at each other awkwardly in the crampus center and whisper to your
friends “when I went to court that guy was there!”
But really,
in a sick way, the Westerville Mayor’s court brings us together. Sitting
in the courtroom is entertainment in it’s own right. While waiting to
talk to the judge is nerve-wracking, the first couple times you get to
the point where you’re so bitter and pissed about being there that you
can sit back and enjoy the experience. It’s almost reality television
listening to some of the messes in there. Speaking to the judge is a
mess as well. I have never been so thoroughly lectured by someone I
don’t know on everything from how weed leads to heroin addiction, to how
if he were my parent he would send me to military school. It’s always
difficult to restrain your sarcasm when someone is essentially calling
you a dumbass to your face, but you just have to bite your tongue, put
on your prettiest smile and tell him that you will never ever break the
law again. At least until you get caught a few months later.
In my opinion, it’s
nearly impossible to survive your time at pOtterbein without at least
one run in with the OtterCops. It’s sort of hilarious that probably 80%
of the students here have been to court for something ridiculous. It
just goes to show what a small community Westerville and pOtterbein is,
that the only thing the cops have to do is chase down people who are
just trying to enjoy their weekend. Personally, I’ve received more
parking tickets than I can count, have been pulled over twice (one of
which was the most terrifying experience of my life, but that’s another
story), and had two court dates. I’m not a bad person and I know that, I
just happen to have terrifically bad luck and I’ve probably helped pay
for several people’s vacation homes in the hundreds of dollars I’ve
spent on court fees and drug classes. My advice to you- don’t smoke in
your dorm room, be subtle about sneaking around with alcohol, and find
the best back streets you can walk on your route home. Also, know your
rights and be prepared to hop fences and run like hell if you plan on
getting through your OtterCareer without adding to your record. If
you’re scared about your upcoming drug classes just ask around, chances
are that you know five or more people that have been through exactly
what you are facing, and possibly meet a dealer or two. Keep your chin up those waiting to head to court,
these things build character and definitely add to your status of
‘badass’ when you can say that you’ve been arrested. Those with good
luck, stay careful and don’t let your friends act like dumbasses."
Don’t get arrested, throw glitter, spread the love,
Ke$ha
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