Dear seniors,
For those of you who know who you are, and for those who read my blog in appreciation, I would like to take the time to reminisce as well as provide a thank you.
The people I met my freshman year, seniors now or already have gone, they are to blame for who I am now. Freshman year for me was the absolute craziest and best time of my life. My very first weekend, I sat at a party, not knowing a soul except my partner in crime, a fellow freshman who happened to know one person there, and sat around trying to figure the best way to begin to talk to someone while my friend flitted around the party. I sat next to a girl on a bunk bed, who looked older, while another girl sat on the other side of me, leaning on a ladder. Some ridiculous boy was rolling around on the floor, probably on drugs, while another girl sat stoned out of her mind on the couch. The girl sitting next to me introduced herself, along with the rest of the people in the room, and from that moment I knew I found the right place. If I happen to have met anyone else that night, I don't remember, as I shortly blacked out afterwards, and left vomiting when I drank the wrong cup of beer that someone had happened to put their cigarette out in.
While some people come and go out of your life, such as that partner in crime who I now barely ever see or talk to, those people I met in that room have 100% changed my life. Listen readers, it doesn't matter who you hang out with now, or that I may judge you for being such a fucking boring person, if you have surrounded yourself with people who allow you to be you, then God bless.
My memories of freshman year are literally just a blur, with very few moments being clear at all. I met people of pure genius, sitting around a bowl, or handing me a beer from a keg. Some of the most talented people I know are also some of the messiest people I know, emphasis on the mess. Worse than me, if you can believe that. My favorite freshman memories with them include smoking in the park, drinking myself into a total state of annihilation many many times at a very dear and missed apartment, and the winter break I spent in town, with snow on the ground and on a table in front of me.
Now they prepare to enter the real world, I seriously wish them the best. And still think of those who have already left. They allowed me to be me, in all my crazy, especially in my earlier years when they forced me to face myself and my fucked up past. They supported me in every endeavor, and also cussed me out when I happened to be full of shit. They also brought together the rest of my younger friends, those who I would seriously be nothing without.
If you take nothing else out of this blog, take this one lesson, especially you freshman fucks. Open your mind to the rest of Otterbein. Someone you might have judged at one point may become your soul mate. While criticism has come from all sides about my actions and my words in this blog, I couldn't care less because the people in my life, this is a voice for them.
While you may be one of the best sports players, or the best performer, or the most creative writer, or the prettiest bitch on campus wearing a cross necklace around your neck, yeah sure you'll leave this college entering into a bright future and set up career. But then there are those of us next to you. Yes, we may be a little disheveled, a little stoned or hung over, and probably wreaking of the previous nights adventures, we are there next to you, with just as bright a future. The people I know, especially the seniors, they have worked as hard as you, if not harder because of attending class with a hang over, or doing their homework a little too tweaked out or stoned. They have opened their mind to the world of college, and took a chance. Maybe they will continue to smoke weed for the rest of their life, or never touch another drop of alcohol again. That's for the real world to mold. But for you straight edge bastards, go fuck yourself. Pass judgement on me, or my friends? I spent my college years learning, most likely the hard way, who I am and making the best of my years here. That's the difference.
Well, I'm finally feeling a little calmer, and about to settle into a Vicodin slumber. Wish me luck, readers, in the morning I'll put my big person shoes on, and enter into a taste of the real world.
Until next time,
Rage on.
xoxo TO
I'd just like to say that I love this blog. While I do find that some things you say, and some parts of your mentality, are a bit hypocritical, I enjoy your open honesty. I have a LiveJournal that I've written in since 2004 and I love the ability to write anything I want. I've made some of my best friends from having that journal. The beauty of writing things online is that you can be as honest and open as you want. You can say exactly what's on your mind...and more. I'm not sure if it's because one is "hiding" behind their computer screen so they feel that freedom or if it's just the boost that anyone could stumble upon one's words but it's a great feeling...one of relief, almost...to share your deepest feelings and thoughts. I read an article someone wrote about your blog in the Otterbein 360 and it made me laugh. I know much about the author of it and she's a slut who fucks other peoples boyfriends. He himself said she has a lousy personality that matched her little boy body and didn't know crap about what she was doing in the sack (and that at times, he had to look away because her crooked face weirded him out...and that she tasted like asshole, haha) but she was easy and young so he hit it. Her writing is the same...easy and immature and smells like shit. There's zero feeling about it. She's just a mess. I defended you in there, actually. Are you aware she wrote this? It's funny to me to see someone like her (underage drinker, slut, somewhat dumb) write something bad about someone else. I called her out on it because it disgusted me.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, I hope you keep on writing and reply if you have a Livejournal and would like to be "friends" on there. I like your writing style and now that I live in Ohio, I could use some friends like you (I'm newish to the state and don't know many people yet). And no, I'm not some person that's trying to out you or anything like that. I just appreciate someone like you and think you're kick ass, lol. I don't even go to OSU but rather CSCC so I don't know much of the goings ons of there but I'd assume it's the same as my old college where I'm from.
T.
I'm actually the one that knows more about the whole situation than anyone (although I'm sure she would like to think otherwise but trust me, I know way more than her because I was the other girl). That's actually funny. Whoever you are, T, you rock, because I heard the same things about her, too. Since I've only discussed that girl with a few people, I have an idea of who you must be and I certainly appreciate your vehement attitude towards defending me but I don't think we need to put a kid on blast here.
ReplyDeleteKids make mistakes. Hers was deciding to sleep with a guy 10yrs older than her that had a girlfriend...and of whom she worked with. That's just dumb and trashy. Actually, that actually goes beyond a kid making mistakes. Rather, that's a kid with some problems that she really needs to deal with. I know aaaaaall about her and I can honestly say that she had no clue how dumb she was being. He has informed me greatly of it and showed me texts from her/him.
I believe in giving everyone two chances. One is when you meet them and the second is if they every fuck up. If he ever fucks up again, she can have him. I mean, she already had my sloppy seconds, why not just have the guy? haha. It's somewhat of a running joke between us because hey, sometimes ya just gotta laugh at your mistakes. She is certainly one of his. He was lonely because I wasn't sure if I wanted to be with him and because of my career taking up a lot of my time. We've worked all that out but from what I can tell, she obviously still has some issues.
And now to the main point of why a friend directed me to this webpage...why someone like her what with her own very obvious problems, feels the need to talk trash about someone else, I'm not sure. I do know that she needs to look in the mirror and fix her life up because to the guys (at least the one I'm with), she was just something easy. Too easy.
I love this blog and I hope that you keep writing. It's obvious you're not going to let stupid little trolls like her stop you from speaking your mind and that's most than the general public can say about themselves. Some people are just so needy and pathetic that they will do anything for a guys attention or attention to get a passing grade. She's not pushing the envelope with what she writes (which by the way, she's terrible), but simply doing what every other wanna-be writer does. It's truly sad. You, on the other hand, should be the one writing for that paper. You actually have your own thoughts and feelings.